Whale Week

Here's the thing. Shark Week is super lame for the following reasons:

1. Sharks do not kill anyone on purpose. They will attack if provoked, but they're not ACTIVELY trying to murder you. Passive danger is completely uninteresting. You know what else has the ability to kill you but doesn't actually want to? Let's see: dented cans of ravioli, sinkholes, old people who can't drive, rusty nails, and four inches of water (babies only). We do not have Weeks dedicated to those things, nor should we.
2. Sharks aren't even that big. They are regular-sized. I bet there are lots of tunas that are just as big as sharks, and more delicious.
3. Sharks don't do anything particularly interesting. Many animals, while neither interested in nor equipped to kill you, are full of antics that humans like us find enjoyable to watch. For example: meerkats, squirrels, some varieties of birds, and river otters. Sharks have no interest in holding each others' paws, getting on and off subway cars like they think they're people, falling into garbage cans, or really doing anything remotely amusing.

For these and other reasons, I propose that in 2010 we replace Shark Week with WHALE WEEK. We don't necessarily need Whale Week every year--indeed, we should probably start thinking sometime in early 2011 about what animal we want to feature next year--but I think Whale Week will be a good transitional Week as we move from sharks to more interesting, more awesome, and less stupid animals.

As part of this year's Whale Week celebration, I will be featuring some Whale Facts in upcoming Movering posts.*

*please note that if I have ever in my entire life had a drink with you, I have probably already told you these Whale Facts. Just do like you always do and pretend you haven't heard them before, okay?