Helpful advice

If you make chili at 8:30am and then at 5pm realize that (a) you have to be at a step aerobics class in twenty minutes and therefore (b) you need to put your contact lenses in, but (c) your hands are covered with jalapeno, then here is what you do:

1) Get the Saran wrap from the kitchen and bring it into the bathroom.

2) Carefully wrap the index finger and thumb of each hand in Saran wrap. Nice and tight!

3) Use your newly wrapped fingers to put in contacts (warning: this will be extremely challenging, so try not to drink beforehand)

4) Success! Your contacts are in and your eyes are not burning. Don't forget to remove the Saran wrap.

5) Bonus advice: DO NOT GO TO THAT STEP AEROBICS CLASS. It will be terrible and you will be the only one who doesn't know the routine (what the hell is a "helicopter"??) and at one point you will literally fall off your step, which you might think is impossible what with it being only four inches off the ground but IT WILL HAPPEN. Do something more productive with your non-burny eyes. Might I recommend Netflix?