Eyboard Emergency

Exactly a week ago, the "I" key on my laptop stopped working, followed closely by the "K" key, the comma, and the number 8.

I read a paper a few years ago [PDF link] that examined the IM conversations of couples and found a strong association between their use of pronouns, especially "I" and "we", and the quality and stability of the relationship. They offer all sorts of explanations about expressing one's feelings and blah blah blah, but my experience suggests that the connection may be even more straightforward: writing without I's makes you sound like a pretentious jerk. The following examples are not hypotheticals. They are ripped-from-the-IM-headlines examples of the horrors of living in an I-less world.

With I's: "I think we should eat dinner at Stoney's tonight."

Without I's: "My thoughts are that Stoney's would make an excellent venue for supper."

With I's: "I think you're right."

Without I's: "Yes, you are generally correct accordng to my understandng of the matter."

The problem is fixed now. Tom ordered, received, and installed a new keyboard within the week. Not to diminish his general awesomeness, but I suspect his alacrity may be partly explained by his desire to stop receiving IM's that sounded as if they were written by Henry James. Not to mention my ill-fated experiment with substituting 1's for i's. To wit, again pulled directly from the IM logs, I narrate my attempt to replace the K key:

10:51:15 PM: now 1 cant get the (cay) bac on AND 1t doesnt worc
10:53:04 PM: fuc
10:53:27 PM: now the e1ght 1s brocen too

It was a difficult week for all of us.