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I convinced myself it was crucially important to throw a party in July so that there would be room for another one in August, so we squeezed one in on Friday (why does no one have Friday parties? They're great because afterwards you still have the whole weekend ahead of you). Everything was going swimmingly until 2am, at which point I burned myself while making soft pretzels for everyone. But the pain was worth it for the totally radical scar I woke up with the next morning (pictured below).
"You look like Wolverine attacked you!" -Ezra
"You look like a Thundercat!" -Greg
"You look like you've been branded in a Navajo ceremony! -Tina
"People will think I branded you." -Tom
Saturday it was off! To Virginia! Not the close-by Virginia but the one that's far away--Tom's mom lives down near Charlottesville, about two hours from DC. We went to a vineyard and had a surprisingly good dinner, but the highlight of the trip was the ridiculously cute cats. They're big enough to no longer be kittens, but small enough to look slightly disproportional and to do stupid, undignified, hilarious things pretty much every second. I caught some of these things on camera. They're going to be so embarassed about this when they're teenagers:
So put yourself in our shoes. You're exhausted, still somewhat hungover, far from home. You're driving along a deserted highway when...what's that in the distance? Is it a Ferris wheel?!? That's right! It's a creepy roadside carnival, 90% guaranteed to be haunted and/or Brigadoony! What could you do but stop? We pulled into the parking lot (almost running over some teenagers doin' it in the Virginia brush in the process), and soon discovered that we had almost no cash. So, much like a Depression-era family with a sick mother and several hungry children, we were forced to spend our money on only the essentials: a corn dog, a lemonade, and the single most horrifying ride we could find. THE SIDEWINDER.
The way it works is this: You get into the wire-cage cars on either end (only four people to a car--not the most efficient of rides) and they fasten you in by hooking the functional equivalent of a wire hanger through the door. Super. Then, it begins to swoop around and around--and at the same time, your individual car spins faster and faster. The overall effect was to make me probably the most physically discombobulated I have ever felt. I also WAY overestimated my ability to hang onto my stuff--my purse fell down, I lost all my change, and was within seconds of losing my camera as well. But through all that, I still managed to get a video: here's an Emily-eye view of the Sidewinder Experience (warning: there is some horrified screaming. Oh, and the first couple of seconds are black because my thumb was over the lens). Please note that I also exited the ride with several enormous bruises. In sum: carnivals are great. The Sidewinder is fantastic. I'm glad to be alive.
The aforementioned quotes about my scar were garnered on Sunday's tubing trip in Harpers Ferry. Since we couldn't take cameras on the river (duh), I took what turned out to be a lot of really boring shots of all of us standing around the parking lot drinking beer. With the notable exception of the photo to the right, of course, in which itinerant oracle Ficke prophesizes doom for Tom and young Goodspeed. Tom, in typical high-paid consultant fashion, is obviously trying to buy him off. Foolish young man, you cannot shape the winds of of time, only hope to bend with them as they blow you towards...
Next Friday! So I want to get one thing straight. Lest you think I have forgotten my sandwich vow, I present you with the following sandwich acheivements:
- A weeks's worth of tomato/basil/mozzarella sandwiches made with fresh, garden-picked tomatoes.
- Homeade Vietnamese hoagies, or Banh Mi, brought to a Nationals game.
- A delicious egg-and-cilantro bagel sandwich (inspired, of course, by the Dos Gringos version in Mount Pleasant)
- And what was perhaps the crowning glory (if glory is measured in "how messy it made the kitchen")...Falafel! Homeade falafel!
Is it Saturday yet? How is this blogpost not over? So Saturday! Shopping (booooring), then biked up to the ZOO, ostensibly to get a personal tour of the apes from Michelle, but we "accidentally" got there late and missed it (ok, it actually was an accident, but I am eternally glad I did not have to feign interest in the revolting horrors of the primate world). Instead it was off to the Small Mammal House, which is filled with tiny furry unlikely creatures that will live in my pocket when I become rich. Also, it turns out that armadillos actually do not exist. Instead, the zoo has some sort of Roomba-like device that it dresses up in an armadillo costume. See proof:
Then celebratory zoodrinks at Zoo Bar, Open City with Michael, goodbye party for Jeremy and Pete at Tonic (bye Jeremy and Pete!) and, gratefully, home.
BUT IT IS NOT OVER! Team Six Flags rendezvoused at 9:30amEST Sunday, Blue Line platform at Metro Center. Yes, Six Flags. Did you know there was a Six Flags less than 15 minutes outside of DC? Did you know it was Metro-accessible? It's ALL TRUE! Michael has more and Tom has photos. Me, I was too busy trying to forget the fact that on Friday, post-falafel, we'd idiotically watched Final Destination 3, featuring an extended segment in which everyone dies in horrible roller coaster accidents. We left (exhausted, wet, and extremely happy) amid hundreds of others as the power went out and lightning began to flash. Headed straight to Galaxy Hut, where it took a near-Herculean effort to concentrate on the City Veins (in what everyone agreed was one of their best performances yet) while not collapsing into my Allegash. Then I went home and (finally) did exactly that, minus the Allegash.
DONE! (until next weekend)
Okay seriously, that video of that armadillo made me giggle way too much.
Yeah, it probably would have been better if I'd held the camera still. But I kept thinking he'd actually run AWAY instead of just from side to side.
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